Friday, March 12, 2010

Not doing so great.

One big reason I haven't posted for a while is because I am sad to be posting this. All the work I put into making so many cute diapers, all the eagerness about getting to use them on my kids, all the excitement about the money we would save. And now I'm not even sure that it will have been worth it.

Two words can sum up the cause of my woe.

Diaper Rash.

Thomas has had a diaper rash for as long as I can remember, long before we switched to cloth. I was hoping the switch would help him to heal. But it hasn't. His rash is as constant as it was before. We've tried nystatin to treat for yeast, we've tried mupirocin to treat for bacteria, we've used barrier creams and petroleum jelly and everything we can possibly think of. But his rash continues.

The worst of it, though, is Audrey's rash. A few weeks after starting cloth, she started getting a bit red. At her next check-up with the pediatrician, she was prescribed nystatin for yeast. It didn't work. The rash got worse. It was bright red all over her diaper area, super dry, and extremely flaky. I'm talking huge flakes of skin peeling off when I'd wipe her. Diaper changes, which used to be a happy bonding time, became physically painful for Audrey and emotionally painful for me.

My sister suggested I use lotrimin anti-fungal with disposable diapers for a while, bathing Audrey in an oatmeal/powdered milk bath every morning and evening. For a while, that was actually working - her skin was starting to get smooth and much less red. Then it just stopped working, and her rash started getting bad again.

Now for the past few days I've been using cloth sometimes and disposables other times, for both kids. Thomas' rash continues to stay the same. Audrey's rash has slowly been getting worse.

I don't want to stop cloth diapering! I worked so hard to make all those diapers! I love the way they look, the way they feel. I love washing them, stuffing them, putting them away all nice and neat. I love the way they don't crinkle when the baby moves, the way they don't smell like perfumed chemicals. I love the fact that, before all this started, we were able to go for such a long time without having to buy any diapers or wet wipes at all.

But I'm about ready to give up. If I can't get these rashes to go away with the kids in cloth, I may just have to throw in the towel, pack away the fluff, and diaper my kids in crinkly, rough, papery disposables. And that thought just makes me so sad. I want it to work with cloth. I never even entertained the possibility that it might not work out. I thought all I needed was determination. But what happens when being determined doesn't work? When no matter what I try, my kids' bottoms get more and more red and painful?

Sigh. This is just such a hard thing to face. I'm going to get Audrey checked out at the clinic to see if there's anything they can suggest that I haven't tried yet. I'm going to keep trying to make the cloth diapers work. But if I can't, no matter how hard I've tried, I'll feel like I've failed.


Janelle said...

You will not have failed Stephanie. you will just have found one way diapering doesn't work for your kids. And you can be proud of yourself for thinking up ways to be cost-effective and then go on thinking up other ways. I love you Steph and think its awesome that you put as much work into this as you did. I'm sending you a big hug and kiss. :)

Catherine said...

Maybe this will help?

I hope you find a solution. I'm expecting my first in about 3 months, and planning on using cloth the majority of the time. I did have a niece who was allergic to fleece - other cotton fabrics were fine, but she couldn't even use fleece blankets, because they caused an allergic reaction.

Michelle said...

So sorry it's still not clearing up sweetie... I'd still keep doing the baths, they'll still help soothe the skin. Just rinse well after. Don't feel like a failure! You only fail if you don't try! I know how you feel though, only mine was nursing. I worked so hard with the others, and it hurt so bad to have to stop. But 4th time's the charm... Keep those diapers, you'll have more babies! And hope the doc can help at all.

SouthfieldFam said...

So I've been stalking your blog from Tifanny Harris's blog. We used to be in 1st ward together, but you might not remember me! Anwyays, I cloth diaper too and I was having what sounds like the EXACT same issues with my little guy. He almost looked sunburned and was peeling aroudn teh legs and above the diaper in front. I took him to the Dr and they said it was excema and prescribed fluticasone and his skin was perfect in 3 days and we've continued cloth! It's worth a shot! For what it's worth, I was worried it was the cloth diapers and put his in sposies and he got worse. Cloth wipes help Jackson too! Good luck!

Karen said...

Do you bleach? If you do try an extra rinse. Sometimes bleaching can kill additional bacteria in the cloth. Also Melinda had a yeast infection I couldn't get rid of and the dr told me to boil her diapers to kill the yeast in the diaper. (launder as usual, then boil then spin in the washer and dry again) That seemd to help our situation. Just another thought...G'ma told me that drying in the sunshine is the best...If you can, hang them out on the clothesline (even more economical) Good luck.